Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Through the Wire-less

I never thought I could do it, but I am surviving an internet-less summer! After work every night I return to a quiet facebook-free apartment...and I'm seeing that life is beautiful. I never realized how annoyed I was at people crackberryin' it up in the middle of conversations, checking emails literally AS they come (but then complaining about how many emails they get), posting responses to posts and pictures within seconds...Damn do we not have lives anymore? Even I am guilty of hyper-email checking syndrome. I started thinking about the post-apocalyptic nightmare that would be..a life without the internet, and I have made a few predictions. Enjoy:

Life without Myspace:
- Nothing would change.

Life without Facebook:
- Our network of friends would once again be reduced to that one other coworker in the cubicle and perhaps our moms..if they're not busy actually connecting with friends the old-school way liiiike meeting with them or giving them a call.
- Digital camera sales would decrease sharply.

Life without Youtube:
- Productivity at work would increase by 100% as documented by this Onion article that one of my besties sent to me...while at work of course.
- The quality of television would greatly increase because TV wouldn't be trying to compete with this or even this.

Life without Twitter:
- Soulja Boy Tell 'Em would return to his home planet after failing to destroy the human race by infiltrating the minds of the youth and dishing out garbage instead of anything substantive at all.

Life without FML and Failblog:
- People would be forced to simply laugh at their own mistakes and pathetic lives as was the case in the 90s and years prior. Unless they're rich in which case they would still continue to derive pleasure from other peoples' misfortunes.

Life without the YBF:
- Nobody would know the following people are actually in existence: Solange, Teairra Marie (I wonder if that's even spelled correctly), Angel Lola Luv and Bobbi Kris (who? exactly)
- Women would be forced to make their own fashion choices more regularly without the assistance of pictures regarding what Rihanna wore last Tuesday to CVS

Life without Tinker:
- Wait...what the *@$# is Tinker? So I looked this mess up and you can see for yourself. If you don't feel like it, here's a quick descrip: it's a site where people talk about what other people talk about on Twitter....???? I will probably have a Tinker account by next year * sighs *

Hipster remix coming on the next post (if you think it's hard to facebook-youtube-ybf it up at work, you better believe it's rough trying to compose a remix and post it at work :-p)


  1. lmao! iLOVEit! ...spot on w/Soulja Boy, spot on! and Tinker, well that just sounds like a hott mess.

    As far as the whole internet obsession goes I must admit that I'm rather self-absorbed wirelessly. What this means is that if it doesnt concern ME specifically I barely pay any attention to it. For example...i BARELY read most of the posts left by tweeters that I follow and mostly only look at facebook albums with me in them. hahaha, ugh...saying it out loud [aka writing it on a public forum]makes me slighly ashamed

  2. Lmao that's so true and I'm glad you admit what we all do anyways

  3. lmao @ soulja boy...
    i love theybf... im the internets play toy lolol... I LOVE IT! tis a sad sad thing